John Gray wrote in his book Mars and Venus on a Date ‘Choosing a soul mate is not a mental decision based on the pros and cons of a relationship. It is not an emotional decision based on comparing how a person makes you feel. It is not a physical decision based on how a person looks. It is much deeper. When our soul wants to marry our partner, it feels like a promise that we came into this world to keep’, says Thariza Steyn ( pictured above).Richard Bach defined a soulmate as ‘one with whom we have made a mutual decision before the beginning of any life experience, with whom we have an agreement to meet in spacetime and demonstrate for each other the best we know about sharing love’.
John Gray also said that when our souls want to get married, it feels as if we have no choice. We have to do it if we are true to ourselves. It is this kind of commitment that can sustain a lifetime of love. It empowers us to make the necessary sacrifices and overcome the inevitable challenges that come with marriage; it graces us with the experience of incomparable joy and fufillment.
Marriage betweeen two souls is what happens the moment two people see each other, the moment two souls connect to each other.
From the angelic realm it is something that can be seen with great ease, for the light that shines forth is very bright. Neither soul gains anything. There is no missing piece provided by the other. But there is a power – an energy, like electricity – that one soul ignites within the other which allows that soul to come alive. When true marriage happens (marriage as viewed from the angelic realm) two souls find each other, and with no effort whatsoever, they bring alive within each other that power, that force.
Most people find or are found by their soul mates when they are not really looking. When you are ready your soul mate will appear.
Another important insight about soul mates is that they are never perfect. They will not have everything on your list of ideal qualities. They come with baggage. They, like you, have good days and bad days. They may not look the way you thought they would look, they may have flaws that you don’t like very much. They are not perfect, but when your heart is open and you know them, they are somehow perfect for you.
The love you spontaneously feel for a soul mate is the foundation for learning to share your life with someone, who in many ways, is very different from you. That love motivates you to cooperate, respect, appreciate, cherish, and admire that person. In this process, which is not always easy or comfortable, you become a better person. Your soul has a chance to grow.
If your life partner did not challenge you in some ways the best would not be drawn from you. Soul mates are the perfect partners to bring out the best in us, and sometimes this is done by having to work through issues. In a marriage, you have to overcome all kinds of negative tendencies – being too judgmental, critical, selfish, compliant, demanding, needy, rigid, accommodating, righteous, doubtful, impatient and so on. A soul mate gives you the opportunity to rise above these tendencies. When your dark side surfaces, you become stronger and more loving by exercising the love you feel deep in your heart to resolve an issue. In this process your soul, like the butterfly, has a chance to fly free.
When you are in tune with a soul mate it can gradually change your life in a most wonderful way. You will find a greater communion and a greater response from your soulmate. Your will does not become enslaved, it becomes expanded and this is the difference between attunement to an ego-centred person and being in tune with your soulmate.
Depending on the level of the two people, soulmates could convey their thoughts without a word and without talking. But, there can only be this communion when they are on the same level, and with the same intensity at the same time. When two people have the extraordinary quality of this state, where there is instant communication, it could be called love.
Even if these souls are ten thousand miles away from each other, if they think of each other and concentrate on each other with deep attention, they can receive the other one’s vibrations. They will begin to get to something that is beyond mere words. They will receive each other’s magnetism through thought.
You could call it love, but it is far more than the word you understand. These two souls bring alive the possibility of the fulfillment of each soul’s destiny through the very process of their meeting.
‘We recognise each other when we meet by signals arranged at a time and place we half remember from old dreams. The curve of a smile, fragments of shared memories, a phrase that two minds speak at just the same instant. And then we begin the dance we asked of each other before the music of time was written and enter upon the lives we’ve customised for our education and our delight.’ (Richard Bach)
Sources
1. Paramahansa Yogananda, Journey to Self-realisation, Self-Realisation Fellowship, 1997.
2. J.Krishnamurti in Dialogue with Buddhists, Can Humanity Change? Shambala Boston and London, 2003.
3. Richard Bach
4. Stevan J Thayer and Linda Sue Nathanson, PhD, Interview with an Angel. Edin Books, 1997.
5. John Gray, Mars and Venus on a Date