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The key that opened the door Print E-mail
‘This is a fable about an ordinary girl with an extraordinary story of pain that turned into passion. Could this be you?,’ asks Adele Green (pictured above).

I just did my journey process and this person in whom I trust my soul says to me: ‘Go and be authentic’. I still try to ask her what was the most profound book she ever read (as is my habit when I meet someone who makes an impression on me), but she looks as if to answer and then changes her mind. She just smiles and indicates that it is time to go, and so I do.

Every part of me is now desperately asking for ‘input’, after the journey process I experienced. The universe does not like empty spaces, I believe. And the only way I know how to do this is by taking my cue from the environment.
That was when the magic happened. Absolutely no answers arrived at my door. I was at a loss. It seemed to me that I have just had the most amazing experience of healing, a huge sense of release and weight lifted off my shoulders – but there was a vacuum. I ask for a mentor, I try to contact this ‘elusive lady’, but she does not answer my call for ‘input’. Here I am, asking for answers. Eventually I got tired of asking, just content being by myself and then slowly I start to remember.

The vision, the feelings and the magical weightless were moments of bliss that I experienced during my journey. No one is forthcoming with any information, but at least I have my memories. So I go there, a little more every time. I remember things that were offered to me during the meditation and little by little I tried to recall not only the experience, but how I felt - how my body was feeling when all this was going on. Although it did not fit in my frame of how I experienced the world at that stage, no part of me objected and I became aware of so much more.

It is said that the experience is different for everyone. Mine was magical and I was holding onto the ‘promises’ of what was to come. When there were moments of despair I just remembered the visions of the future that was offered to me like an olive branch, because they came from the best part of me. I believed in them as though they were already written in stone and that kept on pulling me forward. Eventually I started to see myself closing the gap between the visions and my current reality, forming ideas in my head about how it could possibly happen.

The most important part of my evolution was happening to me, and although I am still a child in it, I knew it would be the most defining part of me as I created a crossroad for myself to live my potential.

Today I offer this to everyone I come across in search of a new and different future for them.

My life has been surrounded by defining moments of change, but this was different. It did not come from my changing circumstances, nor me wanting to be better at what I do. At a very deep level I felt compelled to make sense of what it was all about and I sought to be understood by myself. I read a book, a few events lead up to a feeling of sincere desperation and I started to act on those feelings. The answers did not come in another recipe, it was from the meaning I made of the recipe.

I have searched long and hard with effort to solve the mystery of my life. I have come to believe that the answers we seek are not outside of us – they are on the inside.

I was a lonely child with many questions and few friends when I was in charge of them. I have had a childhood filled with resistance and dysfunction. At 17 I left home to live at guardians and boarding school, which sometimes were overthrown by family. Then there was the University of Life where you play at being an adult with no responsibility. Study years were filled with financial obligations and a crash course in developing my identity. Working years were full of fast track success built on an inflated ego and a ‘bubble perception of the world’. At the age of 23 I got married and relocated to the Big Smoke (now the Dark Zone) where I became isolated from friend and foe, attempting a new life. At 25 I had a husband diagnosed with Lymphoma, given less than six months to live, and no support system. Up until this stage of my life I was chauffeured to my destinations. I no idea of banking and financial status in the event of emergency and I faced the reality of death of someone who made up my universe every day for a period of 18 months. The lessons in life were invaluable.

This is where the questions started that I just could not let go. Someone gave me a book to read which today would be acknowledged as Astral Travelling. Finally two years after his death here was something that helped me to understand why he still felt like he is ‘just in the room next door’. And one question led to another.

Within six months of his death, I witnessed a rape, a drunk driver pulled off at a roadblock and escorted home, a motor vehicle accident that could and should have killed me, an abortion, a scoundrel floundering money with no conscience, supposed friends with ulterior motives, extreme sport and a life which seemed so superficial. Power took on a new and unfamiliar meaning. What could I get away with? A little bitty bird has wings and is learning to fly. I felt invincible.

Then with one big bang it hit me – I now live for me. So here we go again, who am I now?

I met a special guy, someone who saw in me what I was yet to learn. He said the magic words: ‘I can make time stand still’. And although I logically knew that this defies our earth plane laws, inside me a part of me was wishing for this to be true. Who could make such a profound statement? And inside my head for the second time someone said: ‘you will marry him too’.

For the third time I got to define myself through the eyes of others. Who do I choose to be? This time I wanted to be an individual first before I was a partner. It came with more responsibility and my biggest challenges yet – children. When you choose living human beings as a responsibility, you do not require a licence, because everyone qualifies. So my first teachers eventually arrived. Little did I know what surprises awaited me.

Many times over I wished them back inside me, original packaging and all. But with every choice comes the opportunity for responsibility. This was the hardest thing I have ever had to face, because from now on I had real life responsibility. Someone said it beautifully – it is like you give birth to your heart, it is outside of you and very precious, but also very vulnerable. That is how it was for me. The first 10 day I could not touch it, Daddy did nappies and I fed. One or other time in their lives, most breast feeding moms thinks it is a compliment to be called a cow. It was not a natural feeling, but it was rewarding. Here is something only I can do for my child. Then the screaming started and it did not stop for 10 months. At seven months I found out I was pregnant again – that was a blow. At three months it was no more. The doctor called it an academic miscarriage and said it happens to many woman, never to be discussed again. And so did everyone. Logically we decided to attempt a pregnancy again, it was not so bad, we might as well get on with it and have another for practical reasons of course. So we did it again and soon I was pregnant for the second time. And that was not all that happened again, three months later the event represented itself in another spontaneous abortion. I was starting to wonder why I am being punished this way? Tests had to be done (doctor’s orders). I had a call from the doc to say that one of two things might have occurred, either I am still pregnant or something is wrong with my tests and two day later came the answer. Now I aborted a twin at four months foetus-stage. I could see the body parts and that was when it hit me the hardest. For the first time in my life I just had enough.

Somehow we find the courage to do it again. After the DNC the doctor said to wait two month and heaven behold two months later I was pregnant again. Four weeks later there was blood and I was rushed into the medical rooms for an internal scan. We called him James (beloved). Now I had two teachers, one to challenge me and one to support me.

I had to learn a few new skills and what spoke to me was my art. It allowed me to say in a language of the soul how I felt in life and about it. I could not stop, I needed to tell in a universal language of love just how crude and beautiful the world could be at times. Life happened and soon I was seeking to re-enter the working world, with creativity of course. But to my surprise creativity is inside of us and expressing it in the corporate environment proved to be more of a challenge than I expected. What really caught me off guard was that I had changed so many of my values since my new teachers appeared in my life. Soon the writing was on the wall – I was a different me, someone I did not even know. And the journey started again.

Who was I now? I did not need another make over – this time I had to go deeper. That is when I read her book: Brandon Bays ‘The Journey’. There was something different about this book. It made no promises; it only witnessed what was happening for someone who could have been me. Whatever I was feeling sorry for myself for was nothing compared to what this woman had to endure and it touched a part of me inside that said I want some of this please. I started talking about it to me friends and anyone who wanted to listen. Things changed in my life that let me know I needed to change my patterns and behaviour in a way to adjust to the new me. So I started to take action. First I resigned, honouring my family with my time and what little energy I had. Second I vowed that what would bring me income would be aligned with my newly discovered values. Thirdly I was on a quest to restore myself – I was going to do a journey of my own.

As determined as I was it just did not work. I needed help. Eventually all my talking paid off and a close friend told me about a psychologist that did this process and she live close to me. I had to wait two months to do it; I could not have been more ready. When I did it the first time it took 4.5 hours and honestly I do journeys but my longest was 2hours. I think I was a hard case study. I have never opened up to anyone before. But it was the beautiful start of what became a way of life for me.

It has brought me to a place of my life where I took action. It was not enough to reach a healing phase. I did not stop at that place, it made me want more, be more, feel more, say more and do more. I continued to discover meta-coaching and my bootcamp (nickname for final training) gave me yet another new identity. This time I decided who I wanted to be instead of letting my personality decide for me. I started a business called Life Philosophy in which I specialise in offering personal power to other executives, corporate clients and professionals. Now I assume my role as an Image and Lifestyle Coach who challenges the authenticity of my clients in order to empower them with choices. I use a mind-body-energy approach in both integrated healing (kinesiology) and meta-coaching models to invite my clients to find their power from the inside. Looking outside of us for the perfect recipe is short lived, but when you find that your body holds its own secrets inside and your work is only to locate the key that will let you in, life takes on a whole new meaning.

For me this became the start of a new game where I enjoy the journey instead of aiming for the destination. It does not stop here, it stops nowhere – I am now writing a book offering hope that will inspire others to unlock the door to their own authenticity and abundance of personal power.

Adele Green Anyone interested in inviting  for a motivational talk, or attend any of her coaching programs or freestyle mind & body sessions are welcome to contact her at This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it or 083 679 2000. For more information visit her website at www.lifephilosophy.co.za
 
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