‘Like wind gently rustling the leaves, sometimes change happens in our relationships through gentle means. Trying to push when we need to allow can only bring disaster’. Belinda Doveston reports on how to use the energy of gentleness to soar to new heights in our relationships.

Following on from our last Odyssey E-Zine instalment on how to energise your relationship through the force of the I Ching trigram Thunder, we now look at how Thunder’s opposite energy can help bring gentleness into our relationships. For more information on the trigrams or forces we have already covered, refer to the links at the end of this article.

In the I Ching or Book of Changes, an ancient and sacred text on change in Chinese philosophy, all forces of the Universe emerge from the primal Yin and Yang energies of the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine. These forces or trigrams as they are known drive all the states of change our lives go through. If we can learn to understand and balance these energies within us we can bring a new level of awareness into our relationships.

Whereas Heaven teaches us about our use of power, Earth grounds us in nurturing, and Thunder incites us to move forward, Wind in her gentleness lifts us into the power of subtle change in our lives. When we are working with Wind energy in our relationships we are being called to evaluate how we influence our path together through subtle and gentle means.

In the I Ching philosophy, Wind is the eldest daughter of the family. She cares for and supports the family through her deep power that is felt not through the force of its energy but from the long-lasting and profound changes that occur as a result. We all want immediate results and instant gratification in our relationships. If something is broken then let’s fix it and move on. Wind shows us that this is not always the way in the realm of love and human affection.

If this energy is in balance in our relationships, then we are able to balance action and gentleness so that we move forward with energy, yet also appreciate that like most good things, time matures the end result. If there is too little Wind energy then we may struggle to contain its opposite – Thunder. This results in pushing each other and the relationship too hard, or pushing for the next big step too soon, thereby rushing towards a destination and forgetting that love is a journey. This may take place when one or both partners wants to get married and the relationship has not been allowed to mature at its own pace.

Too much Wind energy can also hinder a relationship. This may result in too little energy in the relationship, ineffectual progress, weakness, difficulty in making changes, and indecisiveness. The relationship therefore is a light breeze that does not have the power it needs to get to the next level. Action and energy are therefore needed.

f we can remember that Wind can be likened to the long-term dramatic changes that are made in a canyon by a small river, we can begin to understand and harness the power of Wind energy in our relationships. Where can we build symbolic ‘wind turbines’ to harness the power that is already there?

In connecting to this force in your relationships, perhaps reflect on the following questions:

• Have you been able to allow your relationships to unfold in their own way?
• Are you able to patiently allow them to mature at their own pace?
• Do you gently support and guide those you love?
• Do you feel that your relationship lacks energy?
• If you look back over time can you see your love deepening for each other?
• Are you both in a rush to get somewhere together?
• Do those around you expect your relationship to mature quicker than it is?
• How has your relationship evolved over time?

Would you like to work on this aspect of your relationships? Perhaps work with the following affirmations designed to support you. Remember that an affirmation is a positive statement that is repeated with the purpose of reprogramming the subconscious mind with new, positive beliefs. It is preferable that you say your affirmations out loud as this amplifies their power. Repeat each affirmation as often as you can, preferably in sets of three every time you repeat your list of affirmations.

• I work with my partner in making gentle, positive progress.
• I let go of the destination and embrace the journey.
• I follow the sands of time in the deepening of our love.
• I know when to push and when to let go.
• I create change through patience, gentleness and love.
• Step by step I manifest love and harmony.
• Over, under, and through I flow.

Visualise yourself being the gentle willow tree with your feet firmly planted in the ground and your leaves softly resting on the water’s surface. Feel what it is like to be strong yet flexible as the breeze gently moves you into a deeper level in your relationships.

n the next instalment we will meet the middle son in I Ching philosophy – Water. In his rapid flow we learn about adventure, spontaneity, risk and danger. Learn how to go with the flow in your love relationships.

The other articles in the series can be accessed here:

• Power
• Nurturing
• Energy

Belinda Doveston is the co-founder and managing director of MetaVarsity, a college of metaphysics focused on using practical, outcomes-based education ‘to help you develop personal mastery in the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects of your life.’ For more info on their range of metaphysical courses or their I Ching course running on the 3/4th October 2009, contact +27-861-116-126, This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it , or www.metavarsity.com